First Date Proposal

In a dating odyssey that I thought would have ended ages ago, I find myself shaking my head and looking at the stars and wondering...why is my dating disco ball not aligning with the stars in the heavens?

I should have had a clue, when I first had a solo date end up in complete disaster and in a police report, that things from that point on would not bode well for me.

But at least now I have stories that I can look back on and think no one will ever believe that one! Which is where Zach and I discovered our common thread of what seems to be eternal dating.

These are the type of stories that needs a group of friends sitting in a mom and pop diner at a late hour and all the food has been devoured and the only thing left is dessert and story time. So, find your favorite late night snack and enjoy.

Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

A normal girl dreams of the day that she will have the man of her dreams bend on one knee and propose marriage. Sadly, I don't think that a first date is where this monumental event should take place. These are the facts to this particular event.

I met this young gentleman caller at a mid-singles activity that I was hosting. He was charming in a way that any girl would be drawn to his over-the-top personality. I was no different. When the night had ended, he asked "In case you didn't catch my name earlier it is Luke (remember names are changed) and I was wondering when you would like to grab a bite to eat and catch a movie?" I was taken aback for just a moment to his boldness and said "I am free next Friday night."

As the week progressed, I received several texts of the up coming event and random questions. A red flag that I missed was the text that asked if I was on Facebook. I thought nothing of it since I am ring leader for the mid-singles and am asked that question all the time. Why would you want to be friends before you really know me? The day had finally come and while at work I received yet another text. "What time and where do I pick you up?" If anyone knows my dating style, I never have the boy pick me up at my house on the first date. I always meet them at the chosen destination. This is due to my first date. (Which, will make its way to this blog at a later date.) He was a bit perturbed to this insistence, but finally relented to my request.

We met at TGIFriday's restaurant. As we sat down, he began to ask me question after question. Once we ordered our meals, the rapid fire of questions continued. He would answer my questions in turn. We seemed to have much in common and I could feel my inner geek-sheik emerge. I had a great time with our conversation that ranged from Star Trek to Apple computers to quoting movies that continued while walking over to the movie theater.

The movie choice was not mine. I don't think sharing a date with a theater full of children is the best place for any first date. The movie was cute, once I got past the constant "Daddy, daddy, I don't get it. Why are you laughing?" The very kid friendly movie stole moments and quotes from every major sci-fi movie since the the 1960's. Of course, Luke and I would go back in forth during the movie to give the other the movie reference. For a sci-fi aficionado he failed at naming most of the movies. I didn't hold it against him, but merely notated that fact in my mental file.

During the whole of the movie, I kept my arms folded and legs crossed. Any normal person would have picked up the fact that I was not interested in any physical contact. There would be no hand holding in this darken and child-filled theater this cool California winter night. But that did not stop him from any and all attempts. He would hang his hand over the arm rest and gentle brush my thigh. I moved closer to a six year boy that told me that he loved aliens and this movie sucked since there were no scary aliens in this. I momentary fell in love with the little boy.

As he continued to try to reach for my hand that was carefully nestled away, I noticed that the mother of this little boy got up to take another child to the bathroom. We made eye contact and spoke a language that even I thought I would never possess. I spoke the language of mother.She had asked if I could watch him for a moment. I nodded yes. I now watched over the boy for a few minutes. These minutes ended with a little boy named Rudy sitting on my lap. That little boy became my knight in shining armor. My date seemed a bit turned off but the fact that I was so willing to hold this unknown child. Rudy's mother came back and was mortified that her young son would be on my lap. I nodded and said he is fine and we all finished the movie. I said goodbye to Rudy and his cute family and now had deal with the ending this date.

While walking out of the theater my date told said that he needed to use the bathroom. I waited in the brightest sitting area that I have ever seen this side of Las Vegas. As he came out of the bathroom Luke was wearing the biggest Cheshire cat smile that I have ever seen. I got up quickly and realized that smile was not a good omen for me. I got up began to head towards the door and more importantly to my car and end this date.

He hit the floor on one knee and waited for me to turn around. An usher noticed him on the floor and that I was still walking. He stopped me dead in my tracks, "Excuse me miss, but I think your boyfriend has something for you." I turned around to see my date on the Vegas style carpet on one knee with a little black box opened with an engagement ring. He proceeded to speak; "I thought that dinner was great. I haven't laugh so hard since my divorce was finalized. We have great chemistry together and I think, no wait, I believe that you are meant for me. I wasn't sure until I saw hold that little boy. I didn't pee in the bathroom. I went to pray about us. You are the one for me. Marry me!" After a long pause on his part, "Just yes and I will take care of the rest!"

I was stunned and completely in shock. The little boy unknowingly sold me out and I didn't even see it. Then the rest of his speech hit me. I had two options, shoot him down gently in front of this newly formed crowd or turn off the nice-Paty valve and let him have it. Well, by this time, I was through with having any patience with Luke. I chose the first out of kindness. "I'm afraid that my answer is NO! This is our first date. That little boy was not a sign from above. We don't have any chemistry. If we had chemistry you would have had a chance to hold my hand. I can't believe that you would even think that I would say yes on a first date. Who carries an engagement ring with them on a first date? Now, I will be walking out to my car. Please do not follow me and never call or text me again."

Okay, so nice-Paty did end sooner than I would have liked. Unfortunately, for him, I could no longer deal with the situation. I walked out of the theater and then thought about running to my car. I couldn't believe that just happened. This was a first date!

Welcome

Many of you may have heard rumor that I am single. Well, it's true. Currently I am no closer to getting married than the day I graduated from high school. Considering that graduation happened back in the early nineties, you could say that I have been single for quite some time. In fact, I have been dating for well over half my life, (and that is after discounting two years for my mission).

That being said, it could be construed that I have been on a LOT of dates. My friend Paty from California has also found herself in similar circumstances, i.e. that of being well seasoned in all things dating.

We were discussing some of our various past adventures, and decided it was high time the rest of the world learned of our escapades.

So we collaborated, discussed, and ultimately came up with the idea to start a cooperative blog. On a semi-regular basis, you can expect to see new tales of the exciting machinations and events that go into some of our more colorful dates of yesteryear. We hope that you find this as entertaining as we do...now that our therapy bills have been paid, and the wounds to our hearts are no longer festering and sore.

With that said, we will let you know that names (and sometimes locations), have been changed to protect the innocent. Paty and I won't be changing our names in the storytelling as we are no longer innocent.

Feel free to comment and share your dating horror stories if you wish. Our only request is that absolutely NO comments ever start with the words, "I know this person who would be perfect for you!"

Much Love and Happy Reading!