Mmm...drugs

Some time ago, I had the chance to take out a girl by the name of "Kate". "Kate" was a blind date that was set up over the course of several months. We had e-mailed for a time, and then finally, after both our schedules were finally able to match up, I had the chance to take her out on to an Indian dinner...(dot, not feather).

I knew from e-mail conversations that she was a very social and personable girl. I was looking forward to the evening, knowing that things were well lined up for a good time.

And I was not to be disappointed. She was pretty much everything I had expected, and I really had a good time. She was easy to talk to, had a great laugh and was just fun to be around.

Things were running smoothly when suddenly she got a text message alert. Being a HUGE fan of all things texting, I had no qualms with this. She said, "Oh, I have to check this. It might be my friend."

She then went on to explain, while she was answering the text, that her friend had been having some pains and they weren't quite sure what it was. Then, almost as an after thought, my date said, "I hope she has to have an appendectomy."

I did a double-take and asked her, "You WANT her to have an appendectomy? Why would you want to wish something like that on a friend?"

"Kate" went on to explain, "Well, if she has any type of surgery, then she can get some pain pills, and then she can share them with me!"

And then, with the pure passion of someone who REALLY enjoys something, her eyes rolled up, she clenched her fists in a grasp of excitement, and she said, "I LOVE pain pills."

I was then treated to a brief history of how whenever any of her friends have surgery or anything that involves medication, she is usually able to convince them to share some with her because, she "loves the haze they put [her] in". Sometimes they even give them to her as part of a birthday present.

I felt bad I didn't have any to share with her.

Kids - Don't do drugs.

Democratic or Republican...worse Californian!

There has been rare occasions that I have gone out while visiting Utah. Ages ago, my brother and I decided that we wanted to go skiing in Utah. I had a boss here in California that had a condo in Midway that he lent us for the week. So, we drove up for some skiing and to visit some friends.

I called my friend Lisa to let her know that I was coming up. She in turned said, "There is a guy that you have to go out with while you are up here." I said sure with some major hesitation. He called and we set up a meeting place. Since I really don't know Utah, at the time we met at the only place that I knew of its location. We meet in front of the Provo temple in the morning. From there he wanted to show me the sights and sounds of Utah.

"Rick" was very attractive. He had the greenest eyes that I have ever seen. I was smitten, so I thought that there is no way that this could end badly.

Rick made me feel like I should have taken notes of everything that he was showing me. I have to admit that it was a fun way to have a history lesson. After he showed me all of Provo. He said that I had to see Salt Lake City. We stopped at this great little Greek restaurant and had a break from my history lesson. I soon discovered everything about Rick and I mean everything. I wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. I had never met a guy that had that much to say about himself. Other than my name, I think the only thing that he knew about me at this point was that I wasn't from Utah.

We resumed the sight-seeing/history tour. We ended out date on top of a hill behind the Capital building. I could see all of the valley. It was a beautiful site as the lights glimmered. Finally, Rick asked me questions about me. I had a chance to speak for the first time in nearly eight hours of being together. His first question, "Are you a democratic or a republican?" As I told him my political party, he looked bewildered. I asked him what was wrong. Still looking bewildered, "But how can you be?" Remembering who set me up, I simply answered, "I'm Californian." With that he took two steps back from me.

I began to laugh inside my head. He said he should get me back home. It was a very quiet ride home.

Soooo not funny....

One of my many blind date adventures took place back in May of 2005. I was living down in St. George at the time and a good friend of mine back in Payson, a girl by the name of Wendy B., or to keep it anonymous, W. Brown, wanted to set me up with one of her friends who lived near where I was.

W. Brown called me up one day and said, "Zach...there is a fantastic girl whom I have known for a little while, and she lives down there. She just had a birthday and you should totally take her out on the town to celebrate, and of course to meet her. She is awesome."

Well, how could I say no to that? So I agreed to take her out. Wendy B. gave me the phone number and I proceeded to call "Heather" and ask her out for that weekend. Fortunately W. Brown had forewarned her that I would be calling and the conversation went smoothly.

I should point out at this moment that in May of 2005, I was almost 30 years old. Keep that in the back of your mind.

So on the agreed day, I went to pick "Heather" up at her house. When she opened the door, I must say that I was truly impressed. She really was an attractive girl. She was very friendly and personable, and very easy to talk to. I could tell that this night was going to be fun.

We first went out to eat. My first impressions of her proved to be spot on as we had a great time conversing and sharing stories, and just getting to know each other. It was a lot of fun.

The next event on our agenda was to go up on the cliffs above St. George and fly kites. So up we went. This also proved to be a wonderful activity and we once again went about finding out more and more about each other.

Finally I got around to asking about her birthday and how it had been.

Me: So, you just had a birthday, right?

"Heather": Yes I did! Just last week in fact.

Me: Now going against all "Dating Protocol", how old are you?

"Heather": hee, hee, 18!

Me: *empty stare much like the proverbial 'deer in headlights' cliche*

I was in Middle School learning Algebra and fighting acne when she was born. Better yet...she was 9 years old when I got home from my mission.

Later that night, after having spent the remainder of the date at arm's length of this YOUNG lady at all times, I called up my dear, dear friend who had arranged this, and was met with a loud, long spiel of laughter as she knew I had found out.

I still love you, but, Touche' Wendy...Touche'.

Who's the man?...No really, who is the man?

Once in awhile, I realize that guys need a break from having to ask girls out. So, I have been known to ask a few guys out here and there. Some have said yes and others have said no. Now for the ones that say yes, I plan the whole thing. From the dinner to the activity. But most of them still act as the guy. They open the car door for me, okay, any door for me. They attempt to pay for the dinner or the activity, etc. All except for one!

'Bobby' was so different and a blast to be around. So, asking him out was super easy. I told him that I would plan the whole night. To which he replied, "That's awesome! What time will you pick me up?" We made the arrangements for Saturday night. I thought nothing of me picking him up.

I arrived at his place and rang the doorbell. To my surprise, he made me wait for 15 minutes to finish getting ready. Okay, maybe he was running late. It happens. Finally, after all his primping, we were off to dinner. We got to the car, I unlocked his door and then headed to the driver's side. I got in and started the car. I noticed that he was still standing outside of the car. I rolled downed the window and asked if everything was okay? Looking completely serious, "It will be when you open the door for me." This is going to be a long night at the rate that we are going.

I turn off the car. Get out of my seat, walk around the car and open his door. I wait for him to get into the car and sit down.

Okay, let's try this again. Off to Honda Ya. My favorite sushi place. I parked the car and headed to the restaurant. Once again, Bobby is still in the car. I walk back. Open the door to let him out. He said nothing. I am beginning to see why he still may be single. Now, this restaurant is truly authentic Japanese cuisine. One side of the menu is only in Japanese and if you flip the menu over, it's in English. Bobby didn't pick up on that detail. Well, apparently, Bobby isn't very adventurous when it comes to food. So, after I ate some fabulous food and paid for dinner. We left to watch the grunion run.

The grunion were in season and if nothing else it is so much fun watch everyone around trying to catch the grunion. So, as we got the pier I explained the night's activity and that is when my little princess explained a few things to me. Bobby would not be walking on the sand, since is bad for his feet. He also hates the water since fish swim in it. But above all, he hates being cold. With that, my fun filled date came to an end. Well, after I remembered to open the car door for Bobby. I took him home.

As I drove home, thinking to myself..."I make a lousy guy. I don't open doors and apparently I can't even plan a fun date. Oh well, good thing that I'm a girl!"