Your Mamma Told You To Scrub There...

Now it does happen, quite often, that you meet someone with whom you totally click and get along with. You enjoy spending time together, and you end up going out several times. These are wonderful experiences, and typically, at this point it usually takes something pretty significant to disrupt the happy path to possible matrimony.

I had been seeing a girl, we shall call her Phoebe, for a couple of weeks. Things were moving along splendidly and we had been out on several successful, fun dates.

We decided that this particular weekend though, we would stay in, and with the companionship of popcorn and the nestling of a warm blanket, watch a good movie and enjoy each others' company.

And that is exactly how it played out...up to the end of the movie.

As the credits began to roll, the lights were out, the mood was set, and that good ol' fashioned feeling of physical contact started to progress.

Ok, ok...cool your jets. It was all quite innocent and PG rated, so don't get your hopes up, or call my Bishop.

Anyway, we were kissing. She was very skilled in this art and we were having an enjoyable time. Well, being the suave romantic that I am, I thought that it would be fun to tease her a bit with a nibble on the ear.

So I worked my way over a bit and started kissing her cheek, and then moving towards the ear, I took my hand and gently brushed her hair back and out of the way to move in.

Well, as I ever so gently brushed her hair back, I happened to get a good look behind her ear and saw...

Wait for it...

DIRT

Small, black, granules of gritty, abrasive dirt, freshly planted and held in place by a foundation of thick, waxy hair grease and dandruff.

Now, of course on first sight, I thought that this surely could not be, as this much build up had to have taken place not over only a day or three of forgetfulness. This sheer volume of grime could only have been built up over the course of weeks to attain such mass.

So, feigning a genteel tickle of the ear with my finger, I went ahead and touched back there only to confirm what I already knew and should have heeded in the first place, and that was that this girl was in some serious need of some "Head & Shoulders" and a scouring pad.

Yes...the mood was killed, and so soon after...was the relationship.

Personal Hygiene...It's all the rage.